Dan’s Home Page

Congratulations! You found my web page on 2024-04-15 at 21:56:49 EDT. You don’t seem to have been here before, or something went wrong with the HTTP Cookie I use to keep track of this sort of thing. Luckily, the rest of the highly sensitive, extremely personal information I now know about you is securely protected by my privacy policy. Ironically, the details of said privacy policy are even more securely protected by a metapolicy about which I’ve already said too much.

This page is notunder construction,” but I change it all the time, but not as much as I used to. It may even contain something interesting, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for anything useful. Nothing blinks or animates or flashes or pops up (and nothing ever will), and there are no large images or nasty java applets (and there never will be). Isn’t that nice for a change?

Coincidentally, this page’s color scheme, midnight blue on silver, matches that of one of my [former] cars. Because my cars’ privacy policies are even more strict than mine, their pictures will never appear on this page.

Despite my advancing age, I graduated from Cumberland College University of the Cumberlands in May of 2006 with a Bachelor of Science and a math/physics double major. I am now gainfully employed at the largest employee-owned research and engineering firm in the United States the largest online retailer in the world retired.

For many, many, many moons before that, all the way back into my high school days, I wrote computer software for a living. Most of my recent professional experience was in retail supply chain and inventory control, but I have also worked on accounting, education, entertainment, securities analysis, utility, compression, encryption, and telecommunications (some embedded, some real-time, some both, and some neither) software. Even the very short list of relevant buzzwords is embarrassingly long, so here’s my whole résumé instead.

It wouldn’t be a web page without some links: Amazon.com, Apple Computer, Arch Linux, Chacha, Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Common Lisp, Corbin Kentucky, Debian, Dilbert, DuckDuckGo, Erlang, Fink, Firefox, GNU Emacs, Iridium, John McCarthy, LaTeX, Linux, S.O.S. Mathematics, NetHack, OEX Options, POV-Ray, Procmail, Python, RC4, Scheme, SpamBayes, Unix, Wikipedia, WordNet, xkcd. Okay, that’s enough. Please send me non-commercial email regarding broken links.

If you send me non-commercial email, I will more than likely read it and reply to it.

If you send me non-non-commercial email, I will most definitely take many actions against you, and your email, and the horses in on which they rode, up to and including informing the Three-Letter Authorities.

My wife quit smoking 5092 day(s), 3 hour(s), 26 minute(s), and 49 second(s) before this page was served. She can (and will) retire approximately 1212 day(s) from today.

My short list, in no particular order:

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